What is Self-Love?
The term “Self-Love” has become a word that is commonly used in our society. We see and hear the term self-love used by our friends and family, influencers, therapists and even brands and it seems like each time it is used, it is used in a different context. So what is self-love?
I believe that self-love is meant to have different definitions to different people. How you interpret what self-love is, is going to depend on many factors including; how you were raised, your values, your relationship status and where you are in your healing journey. This is where the “self” comes in, not only is self-love about learning how to love yourself but it is also an extremely personalized experience that will never look the same to every person. This is the beauty of self-love, it is love that we get to decide how it shows up in our world.
Here are a couple different ways that I have seen self-love interpreted:
Self-Love is learning how to treat yourself like you would a friend
Self-Love is loving what you see in the mirror
Self-Love is practicing self-care and putting your own needs before others
Self-Love is having a high regard for oneself and ones happiness
Self-Love is learning to accept yourself fully, treat yourself with kindness and respect, and nurture your growth and wellbeing
Every definition I have heard is correct and every definition has one thing in common. Self-Love is a journey not a destination, we don’t achieve self-love but we practice it. Each day we have to work towards feeling self-love. This might be challenging to read as it solidifies that there is no “end game” in self-love, however I challenge you to think how beautiful it is that you already have everything you need to love yourself, now you just need to practice.
To me, self-love means learning and practicing the tools to love ourselves a little more each day. Self-Love is like working out. We do not see results overnight but rather through baby steps and small accomplishments each day and once we have reached our goals we must continue practicing to maintain our progress.
We practice self-love not so that we can forget about our insecurities, but rather so we can understand where our insecurities come from. Once we can break down this conditioning, we can do the things we want to do regardless of our insecurities. Here are some examples:
You change your conditioning of “I am too fat to wear that” to “I am fat, and that is not a bad thing” and you wear your bikini to the beach
You change your conditioning of “I am not smart enough, and no one cares” to “I am allowed to trust my skills and intuition” and you speak up in a work meeting in front of your boss
You change your conditioning of “My body is here to make other people happy” to “I deserve pleasure” and you tell your partner exactly what you want in the bedroom
You change your conditioning of “I am a bad mother, and I don’t know what I am doing” to “I am doing the best that I can, and that is enough” and you allow yourself to have some alone time without your baby to recharge
The beautiful thing about self-love is that loving ourselves starts with one step. Changing our conditioning and understanding that self-love is not a destination but a journey. We can start this journey, simply by changing our mindset. What ever self-love means to you, can become your reality through small changes each day.
If you are ready to take the next step apply for my mentorship program here.